Turning the Tables on Pesky Robo Callers

Do you want to stop those annoying robo-calls. I tried every strategy and method I could think of. Here’s what I do now when I get a pesky robo-call.

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I don’t know of anything more annoying than robo calls unless it’s a sticky fly on a muggy hot summer day in Georgia. 

If you’re like me, you’ve tried everything to swat those pesky robo calls. 

In the old days, I answered all of my calls on my landline. Caller ID had yet to be invented. When I discovered that the call was a telemarketer, I’d slam the receiver down in his ear. That didn’t make make him go away, but it made me feel better. 

“That’ll teach ’em not to call me again!” But, they called over and over anyway. After all, our phone number back then was available to anyone unless you requested a private number. Anyone could get it including those blasted telemarketers.  

Today, I have a smart phone, and can tap “end call” to stop the conversation. Somehow hitting the end call button on my smart phone isn’t as satisfying as slamming down the receiver like in the old days. But, if I punch “end call” hard enough, maybe they will hear it slam. 

I’ve tried several strategies to stop robo-calls. I’ve tried not answering unknown numbers that show up on my smart phone.  But, that doesn’t stop them. 


I tried adding my cell phone number to the Federal Trade Commission’s “Do Not Call Registry.”   But, they call anyway. 

(https://www.consumer.ftc.gov/articles/0133-cell-phones-and-do-not-call-registry)

Please tell me. How in the world do they get my number?  I don’t put my phone number on anything!  Even Facebook wants my number, but I refuse to divulge it. Ask for my number, and I’ll leave that space blank. 

With my iPhone, I can block numbers. I’ve tried that too. After a robo call, I always block that number so that they could never ever call me again. Problem solved, right? Wrong!  They just call me from another number. Geeze!

I’ve even considered going to Verizon and asking for a new number. “That’ll fix them!” I thought. But upon further review, I’d be the one in a fix. I’d have to let all my friends, my doctors, and other businesses I do business with what my new number is. That’s more annoying than dealing with the offensive robo-call. 

So, I went online to look for a solution to my robo call mania.  I researched several companies and decided to use Nomorobo. Their website advertises, “Finally! No more annoying robocalls and telemarketers.”  Ha!  That didn’t stop them either. It slowed them down a bit. Now, I only average about two calls a day instead of two million a day.  And, I pay about $3 a month for nothing!


One of my favorite robo calls are those wanting to sell me a car warranty. 

“According to our records, the warranty on your vehicle has almost expired. You’re eligible for an extended warranty. Just give us your credit card number, and your coverage begins immediately!” Now, how do they know my  warranty has expired? How do they know me and my number?  I haven’t a clue. 

Another favorite is a sales call for a Medicare supplement. How do they know my age?  How do they know I’m on Medicare? Is nothing private these days?  I wonder if they call President Trump wanting to sell him a Medicare supplement. I bet they even know his hotline number to Russia!  

I get calls trying to sell me a home security system. That’s laughable! I have a ferocious Sheltie protecting us from cat burglars. No one would dare break in on us with Sophie in the house!  She’d scare the living daylights out of them!  

Our home security system
 
Oh, and just in case they get by Sophie, we keep a Smith & Wesson handy along with other firearms handy. We have a virtual arsenal. 

My wife is a country girl who knows how to shoot a gun.  I once saw her shoot a snake slithering across our yard clean in two with her single shot .410 shotgun. 

With our security system, we don’t have to pay a monthly fee. And besides, the sheriff’s office is only about a mile from our home. I can call 911, and they will be at our house in a flash in their super fast new Dodge Chargers. 


I’m thinking we have the best home security protection of any house in America. Please, Mr. Robo-pest, stop trying to sell me a home security system. I’m well-protected. 

I expect any minute to get a robo-pest call wanting to sell me a load of turnips. I can hear it now. “This is the Root Company. We have the finest, premium, Grade A turnips fresh from the field. They’re guaranteed to decrease the risk of obesity, diabetes, heart disease and overall mortality and promote a healthy complexion, increase your energy, and lower your weight.”  

“Goodness, I’ll take a truckload!” 

“Wonderful! Now, may I have your credit card number, and with our next day delivery service for an extra $50, they’ll be delivered tomorrow.”


Well, I didn’t follow the turnip truck into town yesterday and found a way to turn the tables on robo-call harassment. It works every time! And, it’s free. No charge!

Interested?  Here’s my fail safe method to stop robo calls forever. 

When I see “number unknown” or see a number not recognized by my iPhone’s contact list, I immediately go into my best south Georgia accent. 

Here’s a recent conversation that I had with a robo-pest trying to sell me a vehicle warranty. 

“We’ve noticed your vehicle warranty is about to expire. If your vehicle has 150,000 miles or less on it, you’re eligible for an extended warranty.  This is a limited time offer! Act now before your warranty expires. All I need is for you to verify that it is still registered in your name. Please verify your name for me.”

“Uh, this hyeer’s Leroy. That’s my front name. My back name is Jerden. 

“Man, I need me one of them thar warnties. My old Chevy is blowing smoke out of its rear end. I can’t hardly git her started. It goes chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug, and coughs and wheezes. I hold my breath every time I turn the key wondering if it will turn over one mo time.”

“I sho need me one of them thar warranties. But, I ain’t got no money to fix nothin’ ’round hyeer. I got laid off down at the cotton mill. My wife cain’t find no job. We as po as Job’s turkey. 

“Them warranties fix everything free I’ma told. I need me one of dem warrnties ’cause I ain’t got no money.”

The other end of the line goes “click.”  

I got a good laugh and got back at Miss Robo-hassler.  She took my time. I took up her time.  That’s perhaps one less irritating call she can make to someone that day.  I’m doing someone a big favor, and you can bet your bottom dollar that she’ll put me on her “do not disturb” list. 

But, don’t bet your bottom dollar on that. It’s a sure loser because I’ve found the hard-head will most likely call again soon. Robo-callers are like that. They are persistently invasive. 

It is estimated that just in May 2017 alone, 2.6 billion robocalls were placed nationwide. That’s an astounding 8.1 calls per person which is about two calls per week! 

The worst offender for 2016, was Capital One, the company with the commercial, “Whats in your wallet?” Capital One made 365 million robocalls in the United States in 2016. That’s over a million robo calls a day!

What’s in my wallet? It sure isn’t a Capital One credit card!


I guess there are enough suckers who followed the turnip truck into town to make robo-pest’s efforts pay off. But, what a way to make a living!  I’d rather pull turnips on a hot June day in a south Jawja turnip patch than be a robo-caller. That’s fer sho!!

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