My Tuesday morning weigh-ins on my bathroom scale cause my emotions to jump all over the place.
When I get up, I wonder, “Is the number down, up, or the same?”
I feel and hope that it is down. Maybe I’ve lost a pound or two from last week. That excites me! Nothing like success to give me satisfaction for a job well done.
But, what if it’s up? Yuk! Thinking that it may be up gave me a sense of dread. Maybe I just won’t weigh this morning. I don’t like failure. I don’t like the feeling that accompanies failure. When I fail, I want to quit. “What’s the use? I can’t do this!”
Or I think, “What if the number is the same as last week?” Well, that’s not acceptable either. I’ve tried. I mean I’ve really tried. Walked at least a mile last week and more most days. Ate healthy small portions. I’ve done everything by the book that I know to do.
So with my emotions hoping around, I bravely took the step onto the scale and held my breath.
So, how did I feel about that 233? I felt bad and good.
It made me feel bad because I hadn’t achieved my 1-2 pound a week weight loss goal. And, it made me feel good because I hadn’t gained 1 or 2 pounds.
So, I’m stuck on 233. I have to take that. I can’t do over last week. All I can do is press forward. I’ll keep walking and eating as healthy as I know how. Maybe next week will be different on the minus side.
Another thing is that regardless of the stubborn 233, I wouldn’t go back to my former eating and no walking habits. Nope. Not for anything!
I feel better. The lethargy and mid-afternoon “If I don’t take a nap, I’m going to conk-out” feeling is gone. I have energy. I sleep better. I’m not depressed like I would be sometimes. I just feel good – the best I’ve felt in a long, long time. No, I won’t go back.
Another thing, my tastebuds are coming around with this healthy food. I never liked fish. Last night, my wife had cod that she deliciously seasoned. My re-trained taste buds are actually enjoying fish. She also mixed together cole slaw from a recipe she found that didn’t have mayonnaise. In fact, she threw away all the mayonnaise. I liked her new cole slaw better than the mayonnaise-based cole slaw. It was really good and really healthy. I’m learning to like Brussel sprouts and cauliflower too!
But, there was no weight loss progress evident this morning. Stuck on 233. I’m not one for patience, but I’m learning that too. This is long term. The health benefits and other blessings cannot be measured on a scale! How do you weigh patience and loose fitting jeans?
If you are like me, you want instant results in everything we do, and if we don’t make instant progress, then we feel change isn’t coming. But, I’m not giving up faith and hope. I mean how often do you invest a thousand dollars and then the next day, its grown to two thousand?
I’ve made some progress. Sometimes I’ve made signicant progress in attaining my goals. And other times, most of the time, it’s been slow progress.
Lysa Terkeurst says, “Just make progress. Move forward. Take baby steps, but at least take steps that keep you from being stuck. Then change will come. And it will be good. It’s hard, but hard doesn’t mean impossible.
“There are no instant fixes. No instant change. We’ll make progress. Progress that will last long” (Made to Crave Devotional).
I’ve learned much about nutrition too. Well, anything would have been more than I knew. But, today, I feel quite knowledgeable about it with a lot more to learn. I’ve devised my nutrition strategy, applied helpful Scriptures, added walking, and embraced God’s grace to keep me motivated. There’s a gentle discipline in all of this too. For a new life to break through the shell and set myself free from the bondage of food and depression feels incredible!
However, I have to be honest. I did have one cheat meal. Well, it was really a binge and a big binge at that. And, I binged purposefully and willfully.
Saturday, we went down with friends to Warm Springs, Georgia, to see Franklin D. Roosevelt’s Little White House that he helped design and had built and where he received therapy for his polio from the warm springs.
We walked a lot. That was good. But, exercise makes you hungry, right? Right!
So, we rode into the little downtown area of Warm Springs looking for a place to eat. There at the end of the downtown block, a lot of cars were parked. Upon further review, we discovered that it was a restaurant, the Bullock House. So, we parked and went in.
Holy cow! We hit the jackpot! They had an old fashioned Southern buffet. Fried everything was everywhere. Just the way I like it. My taste buds were like they were at the Atlanta 500.
Yes Fried green tomatoes, one of my favorites. Fried hamburger steak covered with gravy over rice. Southern fried chicken and fried chicken livers. Green beans and collards swimming in grease like Mom used to make. Field peas, squash casserole, and homemade biscuits. Homemade five layer chocolate cake, strawberry cheesecake, and a page of other southern desserts. Man!
My plate was too small. I needed a shovel because that’s what I did. I shoveled it in and savored every delectable mouthful.
I ate like a man who’d been living on bread and water for a month. I pigged-out and then went back for seconds. And then, my wife and I shared a huge hunk of the five-layer homemade chocolate cake.
Whew, I was stuffed. If I hadn’t gained 10 pounds after that, I didn’t gain an ounce. One thing is for sure, I didn’t want any supper and didn’t eat anything until Sunday morning. If I ate like that every day, I’d be as big as a horse. Well, I was headed that way when the scale hit 240 after Christmas.
Maybe that one binge meal caused me to be stuck on 233 this morning. I don’t know, but I suspect that it did!
But, it’s back to normal this week. Cod fish, healthy coke slaw, and fresh fruit last night. Steel-cut oatmeal sprinkled with blueberries this morning and tomato juice.
I’m staying consistent. I inderstand how difficult weight loss is. I take some medications, and I’ve read that one of them hinders weight loss. Plus, I’m almost 66. That means my metabolism which burns up calories has slowed down to a T-model pace. I’ve got a lot of issues causing me to be stuck at 233 not counting the Bullock House blow-out!
Lasting change is a long, slow process for me. But, I’ll get there! I’ll get to 220, then 200, and finally 200. I’m determined not to lose in losing weight.
After all, God never quits and He doesn’t lose. He’s not going to quit on me, and He’s going to keep me going until I win this battle. Honor God with my body is my watchword (1 Corinthians 6:20). I believe that with all my heart. I can see 230 on the horizon!
“And I am sure of this, that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” Philippians 1:6.